Having children in a potential divorce situation adds an incredibly high level of complexity to the situation. While divorce is still a difficult and painful process for couples without children, the kids can make the emotions much more significant.
Before, During, and After the Divorce
Before the Divorce
While you’re contemplating the divorce, it is best to prepare yourself for your conversation with your children. Think about the best way to explain what’s happening and why in ways that they can understand.
During the Divorce
If the decision is final and you’re going through with the divorce, then you also need to explain what may happen as part of the divorce—things such as which parent will be spending the most time with the children.
Try to think about how long the divorce might take and what changes might happen in terms of going to different houses, different belongings, things like that.
It really helps to be able to contemplate all that so that you already have the answers to the questions your children might ask.
After the Divorce
For better or worse, you’re going to have a relationship with your spouse after the divorce because you have children. Even if the spouse isn’t that active, they’re still going to have some level of involvement. And so, you need to think about how you will be co-parenting.
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